Inspired by a comment on my latest post, I have decided to officially retire from the NFL. Unfortunately for the league, teams did not want to give me a chance to compete for a starting job at (FILL IN POSITION HERE).
I was not satisfied to be a backup, and so I'm putting my NFL career aside to chase new and exciting projects.
Yes, this week is Iowa/Iowa State. I've chosen to forgo cheap shots and humor this year. All business.
(Do they even have a business school at Clown U? Agri business does not count...)
(Yes, I know they have a business school. Law... (human) medicine... those things are right out, but they do have a business school. Go Moo U!)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Uhh...
I have just now read a news article informing me that Daunte Culpepper has retired from the NFL.
To, umm, retire from the NFL, don't you need to be in the NFL?
At this point isn't he acknowledging that his employment opportunities in his chosen field are nil and he's moving to a different ... oh, nevermind.
Maybe, Daunte, if you had rehabbed your knee injury under the supervision of, oh, I don't know, team doctors and not at a strip mall (That's mall, you dunder heads), you might still be an NFL QB?
Hmm?
Maybe?
Yeah, I'm probably right, aren't I?
To, umm, retire from the NFL, don't you need to be in the NFL?
At this point isn't he acknowledging that his employment opportunities in his chosen field are nil and he's moving to a different ... oh, nevermind.
Maybe, Daunte, if you had rehabbed your knee injury under the supervision of, oh, I don't know, team doctors and not at a strip mall (That's mall, you dunder heads), you might still be an NFL QB?
Hmm?
Maybe?
Yeah, I'm probably right, aren't I?
Land of Confusion
The Hon. John McCain:
Sarah Palin?!?
Really, Sen. McCain? I was underwhelmed with Sen. Obama's choice for a running mate, but you sir have finally lowered the bar to the floor.
Nothing I read about your running mate impresses me, sir.
I will now require a MUCH larger check - or perhaps a condo - before I even consider filling in the broken arrow next to your name on the ballot.
Good day sir!
Respectfully,
Your RHS
Sarah Palin?!?
Really, Sen. McCain? I was underwhelmed with Sen. Obama's choice for a running mate, but you sir have finally lowered the bar to the floor.
Nothing I read about your running mate impresses me, sir.
I will now require a MUCH larger check - or perhaps a condo - before I even consider filling in the broken arrow next to your name on the ballot.
Good day sir!
Respectfully,
Your RHS
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
She got the gold mine
Your Redheadedstranger was in the shower today, a-latherin' and a-scrubbin' and listening to the radio news when the final throwaway item in the top-of-the-hour news update upset the delicate balance of his shower ritual...
Jerry Reed was dead.
Emphysema, they said. 71, they said.
Here's Jerry on the Porter Wagoner show (note the Nudie suits in play here!) picking one of my favorite old timey country tunes and putting his own spin on it.
Jerry Reed was by no means a terribly influential country artist - most people under 40 know him better for his turns in Smokey and the Bandit and The Waterboy than his recordings - but there was something about a Jerry Reed tune that set it apart.
Maybe it was the guitar style. Maybe it was the blues influence. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way every song he did seemed to say, "Listen, pal - I don't give a flying f*&$ if you want to hear Adios, Amigo. That dude in the back wants to hear When You're Hot You're Hot again and he's the one buying the beer."
Dropped out of high school to tour with Ernest Tubb and Faron Young. Lordy.
Jerry Reed was dead.
Emphysema, they said. 71, they said.
Here's Jerry on the Porter Wagoner show (note the Nudie suits in play here!) picking one of my favorite old timey country tunes and putting his own spin on it.
Jerry Reed was by no means a terribly influential country artist - most people under 40 know him better for his turns in Smokey and the Bandit and The Waterboy than his recordings - but there was something about a Jerry Reed tune that set it apart.
Maybe it was the guitar style. Maybe it was the blues influence. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way every song he did seemed to say, "Listen, pal - I don't give a flying f*&$ if you want to hear Adios, Amigo. That dude in the back wants to hear When You're Hot You're Hot again and he's the one buying the beer."
Dropped out of high school to tour with Ernest Tubb and Faron Young. Lordy.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Yes!
Gem plucked off of the discussion board at the end of an online Press-Citizen article...
"I don't know if [Pat] Harty claims to be an Iowa fan or a fan of some other school. I do know, however, that Harty is a douche.
Go Hawks!"
God bless you, DaHawk56. God bless you.
"I don't know if [Pat] Harty claims to be an Iowa fan or a fan of some other school. I do know, however, that Harty is a douche.
Go Hawks!"
God bless you, DaHawk56. God bless you.
Mulder? Scully?
David Duchovny is in rehab to kick his sex habit.
Remember when he was relevant? Oh, those were the days. I still look at my flannel shirts and my Nirvana CDs with tearful sentimentality.
I'd like to congratulate a couple of entities for some bold moves today.
BOLD MOVE #A - Georgia may just cut off relations with the country that invaded them. It may be time to consider that move.
BOLD MOVE #2 - John McCain picked the governor of Alaska as his running mate. Isn't she being investigated for ... wait, I already said she was an Alaska Republican. It's like the Reps own little Chicago up there, eh?
BOLD MOVE #4 - Me, for picking Iowa to beat Maine on Saturday. However, if Iowa doesn't run for a ridiculous number of yards and completely control the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, it's going to be a loooooooong year.
Remember when he was relevant? Oh, those were the days. I still look at my flannel shirts and my Nirvana CDs with tearful sentimentality.
I'd like to congratulate a couple of entities for some bold moves today.
BOLD MOVE #A - Georgia may just cut off relations with the country that invaded them. It may be time to consider that move.
BOLD MOVE #2 - John McCain picked the governor of Alaska as his running mate. Isn't she being investigated for ... wait, I already said she was an Alaska Republican. It's like the Reps own little Chicago up there, eh?
BOLD MOVE #4 - Me, for picking Iowa to beat Maine on Saturday. However, if Iowa doesn't run for a ridiculous number of yards and completely control the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, it's going to be a loooooooong year.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
They say...
They say that these things come in threes.
RIP Gene Upshaw.
RIP Kevin Duckworth.
RIP (middling MLB star of the 80s to be named later)
Yeah. That's right, world. You waited 6+ months for THAT nugget from me. Be grateful you got that. I recently received both a pooping pig and a crapping cow key chain, and let's be honest: blog or make small animals crap?
You know which one you'd pick.
As an aside - I'm old enough to remember a time when the Russians were the bad guys, their nukes were pointed straight at central Iowa (EVERY ONE OF THEM, DAMN IT!) and there was no way I was going to live to see 40 thanks to the certainty of Reagan and Brezhnev/Andropov/Chernenko going to war.
Russia has been a "democracy" now for more than a decade.
Funny how a few weeks of bullying their neighbors puts me right back in the Cold War frame of mind.
Silver lining concerning the last 10 years of the Cold War? Iowa played in 3 Rose Bowls.
RIP Gene Upshaw.
RIP Kevin Duckworth.
RIP (middling MLB star of the 80s to be named later)
Yeah. That's right, world. You waited 6+ months for THAT nugget from me. Be grateful you got that. I recently received both a pooping pig and a crapping cow key chain, and let's be honest: blog or make small animals crap?
You know which one you'd pick.
As an aside - I'm old enough to remember a time when the Russians were the bad guys, their nukes were pointed straight at central Iowa (EVERY ONE OF THEM, DAMN IT!) and there was no way I was going to live to see 40 thanks to the certainty of Reagan and Brezhnev/Andropov/Chernenko going to war.
Russia has been a "democracy" now for more than a decade.
Funny how a few weeks of bullying their neighbors puts me right back in the Cold War frame of mind.
Silver lining concerning the last 10 years of the Cold War? Iowa played in 3 Rose Bowls.
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