Inspiration

Inspired by a comment on my latest post, I have decided to officially retire from the NFL. Unfortunately for the league, teams did not want to give me a chance to compete for a starting job at (FILL IN POSITION HERE).

I was not satisfied to be a backup, and so I'm putting my NFL career aside to chase new and exciting projects.

Yes, this week is Iowa/Iowa State. I've chosen to forgo cheap shots and humor this year. All business.

(Do they even have a business school at Clown U? Agri business does not count...)

(Yes, I know they have a business school. Law... (human) medicine... those things are right out, but they do have a business school. Go Moo U!)

D'oh

Why did Iowa State manage to beat Iowa despite going completely dormant for 28 minutes of the second half?

They made the only two big plays of the game. One blocked FG, one long completion to put them in FG range at the end.

I'm sure a flurry of excuses will come from my fellow Hawkeye fans over the next few days, but Iowa lost because Iowa State played a better game from beginning to end. Iowa certainly had opportunities to win and failed to capitalize.

Bring on the Badgers?

And it runs on gasohol!

Setting aside the fact that Kirk Ferentz is the highest-paid public employee in the Great State of Iowa, is it fair that Gene Chizik is the one who gets the company car?

Oh, it's on yet again. There's something about Iowa/Iowa State that just makes me giddy. The rest of the country couldn't give two flying f**ks about the game, but Iowa goes all Civil War brother vs. brother over it.

I laid out some blasts last season, but here is my favorite...

"Legends of recent ISU football and how they would fit into Iowa's current depth chart...

Jason Berryman - would push Bryan Mattison and threaten to take his starting job, or at least his cell phone and pocket change.
Todd Blythe - Eric McCollom leaving team + Calvin Davis season-ending injury = Blythe getting to practice some with the third and fourth teams.
Blaise Bryant - would not be allowed to pad out, but would draw kudos from players allowed to pad out for "kick ass" high top fade.
Troy Davis - could spell Damian Sims on kickoff returns, and give Sam Brownlee and Dana Brown someone to compete with in practice. No shame, Troy - every team needs someone on the scout team who can break the occasional tackle.
Ellis Hobbs III - would probably see the field in some nickel sets.
J.J. Moses - would give Zach Gabelmann something in practice upon which he could "vent his anger".
"Marvelous" Marv Seiler - Would stick as the #4 QB. The nickname alone gets him in, as any effort to kick him off the team would result in a scene of starters giving up their spot for him, a la Rudy.
That Guy Bibguy Called Dumbo - Still not able to beat out Cheerleader Bruce, Tom, "Bullies of the Big Ten" First Down Guy, Mark McGwire/Chad Greenway Dude, the Penn State people, those "Reeeeal Nice" people that used to sit in front of me, the Stylesetters, Headphone Guy, This S.O.B., Earl's Grill (I hear it's a HELL of a cooking implement), the Worm, Woman Who Knows the Other Team Holds on Every Play, Windsock Guy, Eggwarmer / Yep-Nope / 10-90 / Missouri Compromise, Cheerleader Bruce's life partner, or either one of the Red Headed Assholes for a starting spot in any respectable Kinnick section. As Bibguy rightly points out, there are many others that Dumbo wouldn't budge from the depth chart - The Minister from Milwaukee, the Statistician, The Guy Who Said "What's a Frozen Rope?", and Moustache Lady, to name a few. Especially The Guy Who Said "What's a Frozen Rope?".
Seneca Wallace - would probably push Andy Fenstermaker in practice after a position switch.

Did I leave anyone from Cow Tech out? If I did, it was awfully God damned intentional, because they all committed to the SUCK-CLOWNS at Moo U.! "

I'd dearly love it if Iowa State went 11-1 10-2 9-3 this year, so long as they lose this game. Does that make me a bad person?