Oh, it's on yet again. There's something about Iowa/Iowa State that just makes me giddy. The rest of the country couldn't give two flying f**ks about the game, but Iowa goes all Civil War brother vs. brother over it.
I laid out some blasts last season, but here is my favorite...
"Legends of recent ISU football and how they would fit into Iowa's current depth chart...
Jason Berryman - would push Bryan Mattison and threaten to take his starting job, or at least his cell phone and pocket change.
Todd Blythe - Eric McCollom leaving team + Calvin Davis season-ending injury = Blythe getting to practice some with the third and fourth teams.
Blaise Bryant - would not be allowed to pad out, but would draw kudos from players allowed to pad out for "kick ass" high top fade.
Troy Davis - could spell Damian Sims on kickoff returns, and give Sam Brownlee and Dana Brown someone to compete with in practice. No shame, Troy - every team needs someone on the scout team who can break the occasional tackle.
Ellis Hobbs III - would probably see the field in some nickel sets.
J.J. Moses - would give Zach Gabelmann something in practice upon which he could "vent his anger".
"Marvelous" Marv Seiler - Would stick as the #4 QB. The nickname alone gets him in, as any effort to kick him off the team would result in a scene of starters giving up their spot for him, a la Rudy.
That Guy Bibguy Called Dumbo - Still not able to beat out Cheerleader Bruce, Tom, "Bullies of the Big Ten" First Down Guy, Mark McGwire/Chad Greenway Dude, the Penn State people, those "Reeeeal Nice" people that used to sit in front of me, the Stylesetters, Headphone Guy, This S.O.B., Earl's Grill (I hear it's a HELL of a cooking implement), the Worm, Woman Who Knows the Other Team Holds on Every Play, Windsock Guy, Eggwarmer / Yep-Nope / 10-90 / Missouri Compromise, Cheerleader Bruce's life partner, or either one of the Red Headed Assholes for a starting spot in any respectable Kinnick section. As Bibguy rightly points out, there are many others that Dumbo wouldn't budge from the depth chart - The Minister from Milwaukee, the Statistician, The Guy Who Said "What's a Frozen Rope?", and Moustache Lady, to name a few. Especially The Guy Who Said "What's a Frozen Rope?".
Seneca Wallace - would probably push Andy Fenstermaker in practice after a position switch.
Did I leave anyone from Cow Tech out? If I did, it was awfully God damned intentional, because they all committed to the SUCK-CLOWNS at Moo U.! "
I'd dearly love it if Iowa State went
2 comments:
"Troy Davis - could spell Damian Sims "
Ummm, no. I'm pretty sure Troy can't spell his own name, let alone a moniker belonging to another person.
Come come. It's possible ... no. I remember hearing rumors of a third Davis brother who was an even better football player than the first two, but somehow less intelligent.
Ouch.
Post a Comment