Sydney White

** out of *****

The lack of an online image of the movie's poster says volumes about the faith studio execs had in its ability to make "the cash."

They were right, of course.

Sydney White is a modern retelling of Snow White, set during Sydney's freshman year at fictional Southern Atlantic University. This would have been more apparent had they gone with the original title, Sydney White and the Seven Dorks, but I guess they feared a backlash from dorks. Hey - I still went to see the movie, albeit not entirely voluntarily, so could the dork reference have hurt them that much?

There are a few clever references to the original story - the evil sorority girl constantly checks the campus "Hot or Not" (Hot or Not? Is this 1995?) website, saying to no one in particular the first time she sits to check it, "Am I still the fairest of them all?" The poisoned apple that puts Sydney to sleep is her iBook, which is hacked into by evil forces, forcing her to pull an all-nighter to rewrite a crucial paper (for the only class she appears to be taking in the movie) and sleep all day, almost missing a crucial moment in the climax of the film.

Much of the chance this movie had to be successful with me went right out the window from the start when I laid eyes on Amanda Bynes. Don't misunderstand - Your RHS ain't hatin' now, and he doesn't have anything against the young Ms. Bynes. Her fake-bake tan in the movie, however, was easily the worst makeup job I've seen in a wide release motion picture in years. It's so bad as to be distracting for the entire film. She's ORANGE, fer Pete's sake.

Sydney White was great for people who love Disney Channel movies or John Schneider cameos (and you know I love one of those!), but outside of that dedicated group, it won't keep you interested for any length of time.