Gem plucked off of the discussion board at the end of an online Press-Citizen article...
"I don't know if [Pat] Harty claims to be an Iowa fan or a fan of some other school. I do know, however, that Harty is a douche.
Go Hawks!"
God bless you, DaHawk56. God bless you.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Mulder? Scully?
David Duchovny is in rehab to kick his sex habit.
Remember when he was relevant? Oh, those were the days. I still look at my flannel shirts and my Nirvana CDs with tearful sentimentality.
I'd like to congratulate a couple of entities for some bold moves today.
BOLD MOVE #A - Georgia may just cut off relations with the country that invaded them. It may be time to consider that move.
BOLD MOVE #2 - John McCain picked the governor of Alaska as his running mate. Isn't she being investigated for ... wait, I already said she was an Alaska Republican. It's like the Reps own little Chicago up there, eh?
BOLD MOVE #4 - Me, for picking Iowa to beat Maine on Saturday. However, if Iowa doesn't run for a ridiculous number of yards and completely control the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, it's going to be a loooooooong year.
Remember when he was relevant? Oh, those were the days. I still look at my flannel shirts and my Nirvana CDs with tearful sentimentality.
I'd like to congratulate a couple of entities for some bold moves today.
BOLD MOVE #A - Georgia may just cut off relations with the country that invaded them. It may be time to consider that move.
BOLD MOVE #2 - John McCain picked the governor of Alaska as his running mate. Isn't she being investigated for ... wait, I already said she was an Alaska Republican. It's like the Reps own little Chicago up there, eh?
BOLD MOVE #4 - Me, for picking Iowa to beat Maine on Saturday. However, if Iowa doesn't run for a ridiculous number of yards and completely control the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball, it's going to be a loooooooong year.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
They say...
They say that these things come in threes.
RIP Gene Upshaw.
RIP Kevin Duckworth.
RIP (middling MLB star of the 80s to be named later)
Yeah. That's right, world. You waited 6+ months for THAT nugget from me. Be grateful you got that. I recently received both a pooping pig and a crapping cow key chain, and let's be honest: blog or make small animals crap?
You know which one you'd pick.
As an aside - I'm old enough to remember a time when the Russians were the bad guys, their nukes were pointed straight at central Iowa (EVERY ONE OF THEM, DAMN IT!) and there was no way I was going to live to see 40 thanks to the certainty of Reagan and Brezhnev/Andropov/Chernenko going to war.
Russia has been a "democracy" now for more than a decade.
Funny how a few weeks of bullying their neighbors puts me right back in the Cold War frame of mind.
Silver lining concerning the last 10 years of the Cold War? Iowa played in 3 Rose Bowls.
RIP Gene Upshaw.
RIP Kevin Duckworth.
RIP (middling MLB star of the 80s to be named later)
Yeah. That's right, world. You waited 6+ months for THAT nugget from me. Be grateful you got that. I recently received both a pooping pig and a crapping cow key chain, and let's be honest: blog or make small animals crap?
You know which one you'd pick.
As an aside - I'm old enough to remember a time when the Russians were the bad guys, their nukes were pointed straight at central Iowa (EVERY ONE OF THEM, DAMN IT!) and there was no way I was going to live to see 40 thanks to the certainty of Reagan and Brezhnev/Andropov/Chernenko going to war.
Russia has been a "democracy" now for more than a decade.
Funny how a few weeks of bullying their neighbors puts me right back in the Cold War frame of mind.
Silver lining concerning the last 10 years of the Cold War? Iowa played in 3 Rose Bowls.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Super Bowl Thoughts
- Every year the NFL hands out their awards during Super Bowl week. The Fed Ex Ground player of the year? Not Adrian Peterson. Not even Ladainian Tomlinson. Fred Taylor. Goodness. Too bad Fred won't be around anymore when the Jaguars are playing in L.A. ...
- Careful readers of my blog over the years know that I get EXTREMELY tired of the emphasis put on Boston and New York sports teams by the national sports media. Careful readers will have already surmised that there is little chance of me enjoying the Super Bowl, since it features two of my least favorite franchises in football. I resent the Patriots recent success. I've never liked the Giants much either, I guess. Maybe their thrilling last-second 41-0 win over the Vikings in the NFC Championship game several years back still sticks in my craw. It was only a 6 score game when the Vikes got the ball back ... oh, nevermind. Suffice it to say, unless the league rules that the game was so awful they're awarding the Lombardi trophy to Grand Valley State, I'm going to dislike the outcome.
- Prediction? Yeah, the game these two played in Week 17 was close. This one won't be. The Patriots have had two weeks to prepare and two weeks to heal. 38-17 New England.
- Most ridiculous quote I've heard during Super Bowl week - some random writer for some Boston fishwrap announcing that the Patriots really turned it up a notch after losing Adam Vinatieri. They "decided" to stop playing close games to let him win it at the end and started scoring in bunches so the outcome was not in doubt by the fourth quarter. The notion that their game plan went something like, "G** d*** it, Tom! Stop throwing touchdowns! No more points! You'll hurt A.V.'s feelings!" or "Yo! D! Another 3 and out and I swear to God I let A.V. pick who gets cut this week!" made me giggle. Unfortunately, it did NOT make the sportswriter giggle, as he was delivering this theory in earnest. Sportswriters are some of the worst people you'll ever meet, I think. Perspective has no place in their universe.
- Bring on the draft!
- Careful readers of my blog over the years know that I get EXTREMELY tired of the emphasis put on Boston and New York sports teams by the national sports media. Careful readers will have already surmised that there is little chance of me enjoying the Super Bowl, since it features two of my least favorite franchises in football. I resent the Patriots recent success. I've never liked the Giants much either, I guess. Maybe their thrilling last-second 41-0 win over the Vikings in the NFC Championship game several years back still sticks in my craw. It was only a 6 score game when the Vikes got the ball back ... oh, nevermind. Suffice it to say, unless the league rules that the game was so awful they're awarding the Lombardi trophy to Grand Valley State, I'm going to dislike the outcome.
- Prediction? Yeah, the game these two played in Week 17 was close. This one won't be. The Patriots have had two weeks to prepare and two weeks to heal. 38-17 New England.
- Most ridiculous quote I've heard during Super Bowl week - some random writer for some Boston fishwrap announcing that the Patriots really turned it up a notch after losing Adam Vinatieri. They "decided" to stop playing close games to let him win it at the end and started scoring in bunches so the outcome was not in doubt by the fourth quarter. The notion that their game plan went something like, "G** d*** it, Tom! Stop throwing touchdowns! No more points! You'll hurt A.V.'s feelings!" or "Yo! D! Another 3 and out and I swear to God I let A.V. pick who gets cut this week!" made me giggle. Unfortunately, it did NOT make the sportswriter giggle, as he was delivering this theory in earnest. Sportswriters are some of the worst people you'll ever meet, I think. Perspective has no place in their universe.
- Bring on the draft!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Snap Oscar Judgements, Vol. I
Atonement - good but not great. People in it, good but not great. It had the feel of a movie where at every step of the production people were asking themselves, "Is this going to help us win Oscars?" That always annoys me a bit.
Juno - good but not great. Ellen Page good but not great. I enjoyed Jennifer Garner's performance, but the Academy thought differently. Juno is the next Little Miss Sunshine or Napoleon Dynamite - a lot of hype around an enjoyable film (although I did enjoy this one more than I enjoyed those movies). If you buy into the hype, there is a strong chance you will be vaguely disappointed. If you go in thinking, "I hope it's watchable," you'll emerge a happy (wo)man.
Dewey Cox - ROBBED. Once that movie comes out on DVD, repeated viewings will ensure it is quoted FREQUENTLY at 2008 tailgates.
I haven't seen many other films this season, sadly. My goal for the next 10 days is to see the other 3 Best Picture winners, since they'll all be within a 15 second walk from my office.
Apparently, the movie critic in the local college paper wrote an article proclaiming There Will Be Blood the best movie of 2007 just so he could end it by saying, "Of course, living in Iowa City I haven't been able to see the movie yet," and then trashed the local theatres. Cute, I know, but man - does anyone actually understand the movie release system this time of year? People were yelling at me about Atonement not playing in town when it was playing on 100 screens nationwide. People screamed about Juno before it hit 250 screens.
Someone asked "Why the hell don't you have There Will Be Blood?!?" during the last week of Decemeber - when it was playing on TWO screens in these United States. TWO. Both in Los Angeles.
A word of advice, friends - if you don't live in a very large metropolitan area, and you enjoy seeing Oscar-contending films this time of year, take a pill. Settle down. Relax. Your local movie house wants to play them as badly as you want to see them, and if wanting to play them was the only requirement, you'd be able to see them the first day they played anywhere. Otherwise, drive to the nearest large metropolitan area and leave the employees at your local multiplex alone.
Humorously, the movie critic from the local college paper who enjoys trashing us (while showing a glaring lack of understanding of the business he is supposed to be covering) also enjoys coming to see his movies for free at our theatre so he is able to write his reviews. He'd better bring his eight bucks from now on, because it'll make me all warm and fuzzy inside to tell him we've discontinued our policy of letting him in sans ducket. What's he gonna do? Write another article?
Take that, widely unread local college paper.
Juno - good but not great. Ellen Page good but not great. I enjoyed Jennifer Garner's performance, but the Academy thought differently. Juno is the next Little Miss Sunshine or Napoleon Dynamite - a lot of hype around an enjoyable film (although I did enjoy this one more than I enjoyed those movies). If you buy into the hype, there is a strong chance you will be vaguely disappointed. If you go in thinking, "I hope it's watchable," you'll emerge a happy (wo)man.
Dewey Cox - ROBBED. Once that movie comes out on DVD, repeated viewings will ensure it is quoted FREQUENTLY at 2008 tailgates.
I haven't seen many other films this season, sadly. My goal for the next 10 days is to see the other 3 Best Picture winners, since they'll all be within a 15 second walk from my office.
Apparently, the movie critic in the local college paper wrote an article proclaiming There Will Be Blood the best movie of 2007 just so he could end it by saying, "Of course, living in Iowa City I haven't been able to see the movie yet," and then trashed the local theatres. Cute, I know, but man - does anyone actually understand the movie release system this time of year? People were yelling at me about Atonement not playing in town when it was playing on 100 screens nationwide. People screamed about Juno before it hit 250 screens.
Someone asked "Why the hell don't you have There Will Be Blood?!?" during the last week of Decemeber - when it was playing on TWO screens in these United States. TWO. Both in Los Angeles.
A word of advice, friends - if you don't live in a very large metropolitan area, and you enjoy seeing Oscar-contending films this time of year, take a pill. Settle down. Relax. Your local movie house wants to play them as badly as you want to see them, and if wanting to play them was the only requirement, you'd be able to see them the first day they played anywhere. Otherwise, drive to the nearest large metropolitan area and leave the employees at your local multiplex alone.
Humorously, the movie critic from the local college paper who enjoys trashing us (while showing a glaring lack of understanding of the business he is supposed to be covering) also enjoys coming to see his movies for free at our theatre so he is able to write his reviews. He'd better bring his eight bucks from now on, because it'll make me all warm and fuzzy inside to tell him we've discontinued our policy of letting him in sans ducket. What's he gonna do? Write another article?
Take that, widely unread local college paper.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I'm alive!
I was driving home tonight when a random song popped into my head. I was listening to some SIZZLING public radio, so I'm not sure where it came from, but as I turned onto First Avenue suddenly "Walking in Memphis" was rattling around in my noggin.
Normally, when a song enters my brain of its own accord, I get angry and do everything at my disposal to drive the tune away.
This time...I settled back and enjoyed the ride. I always liked the line "Tell me are you a Christian, child / I said, 'Ma'am I am tonight'"
This made my ride home enjoyable, until "Walking in Memphis" turned into "These Boots (Are Made For Walking)", at which point I yanked the wheel into the nearest g** d***ed tree in order to end it all.
Not really, but man, it was tempting.
How the heck are all of you? I saw someone pointing out that they were not yet invited to my wedding. Fear not, friends - NO ONE has been invited to my wedding as of yet. The Bibguy will be lucky to get an invitation at all, as I received no invitation to his day of wedded bliss.
My fiance tells me that at some point, I should be assembling a crack team of groomsman to stand at the front of the church and do nothing during the ceremony. I will be assembling this team in the coming weeks. Don't worry, friends who get suckered into this duty - I've done it many times myself, and I've got LOTS of pointers to hand out.
Mmm. Now I'm actually listening to "Walking in Memphis." My day is complete.
Normally, when a song enters my brain of its own accord, I get angry and do everything at my disposal to drive the tune away.
This time...I settled back and enjoyed the ride. I always liked the line "Tell me are you a Christian, child / I said, 'Ma'am I am tonight'"
This made my ride home enjoyable, until "Walking in Memphis" turned into "These Boots (Are Made For Walking)", at which point I yanked the wheel into the nearest g** d***ed tree in order to end it all.
Not really, but man, it was tempting.
How the heck are all of you? I saw someone pointing out that they were not yet invited to my wedding. Fear not, friends - NO ONE has been invited to my wedding as of yet. The Bibguy will be lucky to get an invitation at all, as I received no invitation to his day of wedded bliss.
My fiance tells me that at some point, I should be assembling a crack team of groomsman to stand at the front of the church and do nothing during the ceremony. I will be assembling this team in the coming weeks. Don't worry, friends who get suckered into this duty - I've done it many times myself, and I've got LOTS of pointers to hand out.
Mmm. Now I'm actually listening to "Walking in Memphis." My day is complete.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Two Things
- I believe the little lady and I have a date - June 21. Having an actual date makes it seem...real.
- I have made a conscious choice not to caucus tonight. I am completely and totally burned out in regards to the 2008 election. I get 20+ pieces of campaign mail a week. I see 3 political ads during every break in local programming. I think Mike Gravel even stumped in my living room last week. I'm not sure.
Maybe other people are fired up this year, but count me out. None of the candidates truly excite me, and having Clinthompsobamabee shoved down my throat on a constant basis has killed my desire to care.
NEVERTHELESS...your RHS endorses Chris Dodd and John McCain this year. I had been leaning towards Bill Richardson before the focus of his campaign became "get the troops out in a year". Iowans have finely tuned B.S. detectors, Bill, and most of us recognize your promise for what it is. Likewise with John Edwards (for whom I caucused in 2004) and his "we'll get those companies to stop sending jobs overseas!" pledge.
Chris Dodd is not only level-headed and occasionally bi-partisan, he has done nothing to offend me during the run up to the caucus. John McCain had the good taste to not bother with Iowa at all. He even still says he's AGAINST farm subsidies - what other candidate on either side would have the guts to say that this time of year? - and more importantly to me, he isn't dragging his religious beliefs around on a chain. (No, I do not care for Mike Huckabee. Thank you for your concern.)
For this, Chris Dodd and John McCain earn Your RHS's Seal of Approval. However, if you're caucusing and you really want my opinion on the matter? No Preference is the way to go. You won't be a viable group and you'll have to pick a candidate anyway, but it might make you feel better about things.
- I have made a conscious choice not to caucus tonight. I am completely and totally burned out in regards to the 2008 election. I get 20+ pieces of campaign mail a week. I see 3 political ads during every break in local programming. I think Mike Gravel even stumped in my living room last week. I'm not sure.
Maybe other people are fired up this year, but count me out. None of the candidates truly excite me, and having Clinthompsobamabee shoved down my throat on a constant basis has killed my desire to care.
NEVERTHELESS...your RHS endorses Chris Dodd and John McCain this year. I had been leaning towards Bill Richardson before the focus of his campaign became "get the troops out in a year". Iowans have finely tuned B.S. detectors, Bill, and most of us recognize your promise for what it is. Likewise with John Edwards (for whom I caucused in 2004) and his "we'll get those companies to stop sending jobs overseas!" pledge.
Chris Dodd is not only level-headed and occasionally bi-partisan, he has done nothing to offend me during the run up to the caucus. John McCain had the good taste to not bother with Iowa at all. He even still says he's AGAINST farm subsidies - what other candidate on either side would have the guts to say that this time of year? - and more importantly to me, he isn't dragging his religious beliefs around on a chain. (No, I do not care for Mike Huckabee. Thank you for your concern.)
For this, Chris Dodd and John McCain earn Your RHS's Seal of Approval. However, if you're caucusing and you really want my opinion on the matter? No Preference is the way to go. You won't be a viable group and you'll have to pick a candidate anyway, but it might make you feel better about things.
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